When the Truth Comes Out
by laurendee
Summary: KirstenCohen family centered fic. Kirsten faces more physical and emotional consequences because of her DWI accident than she ever imagined. She's in rehab facing a lot of emotions, just as her family are back home.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's notes: This fic is going to be based on the spoilers and speculation about Kirsten and Kandy for the upcoming 4 episodes of The OC.

Let me know what you think!

Kirsten looked in the mirror one last time before she went into the living room to wait for Carter so they could work on magazine stuff. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she realized that she was making sure she looked good for Carter. Why did she suddenly care what Carter thought of her appearance? He was a coworker. Sandy's the one she should be trying to impress. "_But Sandy's not here_," she reminded herself, "_he's in Miami Beach, where you should be-with your family-but you lied to him and said you couldn't go because the publishers needed the edited copy of the new issue of 'Newport Living' earlier than planned and that you'd need to work overtime on it with Carter if it were to be ready for publication_." Kirsten sighed, who was she anymore?

Before she had anymore time to think, the doorbell rang. Kirsten hadn't told Sandy a complete lie. She and Carter were still planning on working on the magazine.

What Sandy didn't know was that they'd be working on it after seeing each other all day at work.

At night.

At the Cohens' house.

Supposedly they chose that location because Kirsten had some layouts in the kitchen and it'd be easier.

"Before we start, how about some wine? This is the Feather Brooke wine I bought last weekend," Carter said with a smile as Kirsten led him into the kitchen.

"Sure," Kirsten replied smiling back. She never seemed to turn down an offer to drink more wine. Plus she needed some, she felt bad for lying to Sandy and she thought this would help get her mind off of that.

Carter pulled a chair out at the kitchen table for Kirsten, which she sat down in. He seemed to make himself right at home, grabbing the wine opener and wine glasses off the kitchen counter naturally.

He poured the wine and toasted, "To a night full of accomplishments."

Kirsten smiled and clunked her glass to his, taking a big sip.

For the first hour, the night seemed to be productive, but once Carter got up to get their third bottle of wine, after they had completely drank the two Feather Brooke bottles Carter had brought, things started heating up.

"I'll get another bottle of wine," he said as he stood up and walked over to the fridge.

"Get the merlot," Kirsten commanded, and then got up to get clean glasses. It was as if she was oblivious to the fact that Carter was acting like her husband, getting wine out of the Cohens' fridge, pouring it for her, toasting to her, yet, as Kirsten drank more and more, she seemed to care less about her real husband and more about Carter.

Carter opened the bottle of wine on the counter and simultaneously, both his and Kirsten's hands reached for the bottle.

"Oops," was Carter's reaction. "Trying to get the bottle before me?" he said laughing, "well sorry, my hand was on it first."

"Was not!" Kirsten replied like a bubbly teenager who got accused of staring at her crush in school. "I grabbed it first, let me do the honors."

Meanwhile, their hands were still touching each other.

"You grabbed it first? Look whose hand is on top!" Carter replied.

Kirsten looked down, realizing that her hand was still on top of Carter's. She noticed her wedding set shining on her ring finger. She began to think, "_I wonder kind of wedding ring Carter bought his ex-wife_."

"Kirsten?" Carter said, noticing she was daydreaming.

"Oh, sorry, I was just…daydreaming…" Kirsten said as she quickly took her hand off of Carter's and put it to her chin, hoping Carter wouldn't sense she was daydreaming about him.

"I know the feeling," Carter replied. Sensing that Kirsten was leading toward what he was, be continued, "The last few weeks I've found myself distracted on the job. I can't concentrate, I lose focus."

"I know what you mean," Kirsten said barely above a whisper. She feared where this conversation was going. She wasn't sure if it was because she was about to admit the truth to herself and Carter or because she felt guilty about what she was doing behind Sandy's back, but she definately knew she didn't feel comfortable.

"I've realized what it is that's distracting me from the job…"

Kirsten anxiously awaited his response.

"It's you…you're so smart and attractive and sexy. You're really hard to work with—not that you are a bad worker, you're a great worker, its just that you take my mind off the job and bring it into different places with your beauty," Carter said looking deep into Kirsten's eyes.

After looking at Carter for a second and taking a deep breath, Kirsten shakily began, "Carter, I'm not going to lie to you…it's been weird in the office working with you…you're…very attractive and I…I'm…attracted to you." Kirsten felt strange when she heard the truth come out of her own mouth. She'd been married to Sandy for 20 years and never once admitted, let alone found another man attractive besides Sandy. Now here she was, confessing her feelings for another man actually to him.

She grabbed the bottle of wine they hadn't poured yet, poured herself a glass, and took a big sip.

Carter poured himself a glass and drank it straight. Kirsten refilled his glass to distract herself from looking at Carter, and then went on to finish her own glass. After she put the glass down on the counter, Carter took this as an opportunity to get closer to Kirsten.

Kirsten looked up at him nervously as he approached her in distances never known to them. Neither took their eyes off of one another as they anticipated what was about to happen. Carter moved even closer and slowly touched Kirsten's cheek with his hand.

Kirsten's mind was racing. Her heart was telling her that she was married, but her mind kept thinking back to the night Sandy kissed Rebecca. "_Its just one kiss_," she reminded herself, trying to rationalize the situation at hand, "_maybe I need to do this_." Before she could think about it anymore, she found Carter's lips approaching hers at a fast rate.

Kirsten closed her eyes, not wanting to remember that she kissed another man in her and Sandy's kitchen, where she and Sandy had shared many, many sweet kisses. She felt Carter's lips gently touching hers, to which her lips conformed to kiss him back, but in a scared, hesitative way, the way she remembers how her first kiss back in middle school was.

As their lips pulled apart, Carter looked to see if Kirsten would let him kiss her again. When he saw that her eyes were still closed, he took it as a sign that she wanted another kiss. This time he was more aggressive and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as his lips touched hers more passionately.

Kirsten was surprised when she felt Carter get more aggressive on her lips and body. She wasn't expecting more than one kiss, but before she opened her eyes after that one kiss she suddenly felt him all over her. His arms began roaming her body, even lifting up the back of her blouse touching her bare skin. Before she had time to think how to react, the phone rang.

Without even thinking, she pulled away and grabbed the phone, thankful that there was a disruption.

"Hey honey…we just landed…how are things back in the OC?" Sandy said perkily.

"Sandy?" was all Kirsten could muster out. Her face turned red. She felt as if Sandy could actually see what she had been doing through the phone.

"Yeah, you okay? You sound a little…frazzled."

"…I'm fine. How are the boys?" Even in a near drunken state, Kirsten still thought clearly enough to worry about her boys.

"They're fine. Already chasing after these Miami girls. I should get going though, I just wanted to let you know we're here. Call me if you need me. I love you."

Kirsten felt even more guilty now. Carter sensed her distress. "You okay?" he asked rather coldly compared to how he was just five minutes ago, as if he was really saying, "_What's the problem, lets continue where we left off_."

"I'm fine…but we should probably wrap things up for tonight. I think we accomplished enough."

"Alright, so I'll see you tomorrow at work. And then tomorrow at your place again?"

"I'm not so sure," Kirsten said hesitantly.

"Well you let me know. I had fun tonight," Carter said as he leaned in to kiss Kirsten's cheek. "Good night."

After Carter let himself out, Kirsten, who hadn't moved since she hung up the phone, was leaning against the fridge. She let her body roll down to the floor, so she was sitting with her knees up. She put her head in her hands. How many things could she have done wrong in one day? Lie to Sandy about why she couldn't go on their family vacation…tell Carter she's attracted to him…kiss Carter…lie to Sandy about being okay when he called. It was going to be one long night. She slowly got up and took the merlot sans glass with her to the bedroom. She'd have to figure everything out in the morning, but for now, she just wanted to drink away her misery.


	2. The Literal and Figurative Fall

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's notes: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your reviews! They inspire me to continue writing! I hope you like this chapter, although I'll admit that you might find Kirsten a bit unlikable and Carter a bit more likeable. Hmm. But don't worry, I promise Kandy will work everything out! Let me know what you think!

Ring!

Awaken out of a deep sleep, Kirsten suddenly jumped as her hand searched the nightstand for the phone with her eyes still closed. She accidentally knocked over the bottle of wine she was drinking last night, hitting the ground with a loud slam. Kirsten sighed. Loud noises weren't particularly amusing to wake up to. Especially not this morning. She opened her eyes and noticed that ironically, the bottle didn't break. She placed the bottle right side up and glanced at the alarm clock as she answered the phone. It was already 7:00. How was it that she didn't here the alarm go off at 6:00?

"Hello?" she said a bit crankily.

"Honey? How are you?"

Kirsten paused, remembering the events of last night. "Good, I'm good," she lied, trying not only to cover up last night, but her groggy morning voice as well.

"Good. How was the alarm? Were you able to get out of bed without me?" Sandy said with a small laugh. He was referring to the fact that every morning he controlled the alarm clock since he was the first one to get up and he always let Kirsten snooze through the alarm, waking her up by a gentle kiss on her forehead with a small nudge, saying "_Come on honey, you don't want to be late for work_."

This was definitely not one of those mornings.

"Yeah, the alarm was fine," Kirsten said rubbing her head, thinking to herself, "_Crap, a hangover_."

"But I'm sure its better when I wake you up, right?" Sandy said smiling.

"Right," Kirsten replied. She needed to change the subject because she felt guilty talking about how sweetly Sandy wakes her up every morning after what she did last night. She felt very uncomfortable. Changing the subject, she said, "How are the boys?"

"They're fine. Loving Miami. We're getting ready to head to Nana's retirement community now. I'll tell them to call you tonight."

"Yeah, do that. So I'll talk to you tonight, too?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"I love you, too," Kirsten replied awkwardly. She better start saying "I love you" a lot more often if she planned on telling Sandy where her mind had been the past few weeks.

After hanging up, Kirsten put her hands on her temples, thinking about everything...how crappy she felt with this hangover…how nice Sandy was being to her and how upset he'd be if he found out what she confessed to Carter…her and Sandy's marriage…Carter…the kiss last night…if she still had feelings for Carter.

She sighed, eventually getting herself out of bed and making her way to the shower. When she came out, she noticed she had a voice mail on her phone. It was Carter, wondering where she was. She looked at her watch, 8:30, yeah, she was late, but in no rush to get to work.

15 minutes later, Kirsten slowly walked into the office nervously. She didn't know how she was going to act around Carter. She'd have to decide quickly though, because she was greeted by him sitting in her office waiting for her.

"Rough morning?" he asked.

Kirsten just nodded, unsure of what to say after last night.

"I started working on the layout for the new cover and told Julie to call the photographer. Now I'm going to go see how the writers are coming along with the pieces."

"Carter, wait," Kirsten said as he started to head for the door.

"Kirsten, we don't need to talk about last night right now, I know it must be awkward for you." he said turning around.

"Yeah, a lot more awkward for me than it is for you," Kirsten said sarcastically.

Carter just stared at her, trying to figure out what was going through her mind. She was always so well-put together. Not today. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes were bloodshot. She looked like she needed some sleep.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just having a really bad day."

"Maybe you should take the day off, hmm? I can handle things around here. I could stop by tonight and fill you in on the day's events."

This appealed to Kirsten as she didn't feel like facing the awkwardness right now, nor did she feel like working with a hangover. "You sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be fine. Go home and get some rest," Carter said as he ushered her out, putting his hands on the small of her back.

Kirsten got woozy when she felt his hands touch her. She wasn't sure if it was awkwardness or attraction. Or both.

"I'll see you later," Carter replied smiling as Kirsten left the office.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kirsten felt a lot better after going home and getting some sleep. She cleaned the mess left in the kitchen from the night before and set out some wine, cheese, and crackers for Carter and herself. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him about last night, let alone figure out how to approach the subject. After all, she was still confused.

She started the party early and opened the bottle of wine, she needed some with all that was running through her mind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kirsten opened the door to let Carter in. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Kirsten still felt awkward that it was Carter giving her the kiss and not Sandy, but this time she didn't shy away as much.

She led Carter to the kitchen and offered him some wine, which he gladly accepted. They sat down on the bar stools and Carter filled her in on the day's events of the Newport Group. Then, carefully, Carter said, "Kirsten…you okay? You and Sandy seem to have the perfect marriage. I know that last night was very uncharacteristic of you. Are you and Sandy okay?"

After a brief pause, Kirsten began, "No, we're not okay." Refilling her wine glass, she continued, "A few months ago Sandy's ex-fiancee came back into his life..."

With that, Kirsten poured her heart out to Carter. She told him about Sandy's preoccupation with his ex-fiancee and how hurt she was over the whole ordeal. Carter listened intently and knew all the right words to comfort Kirsten, comparing Sandy to his ex-wife who hurt him after cheating with an ex.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. You guys certainly don't look like you're having problems."

"Sandy doesn't think we are. He doesn't realize that I'm still hurting over everything. He just expected me to forgive him and move on and for us to go back to being like we were."

"Did you tell him that?" Carter asked.

"No. I just…I met you…and then…I got distracted from the situation at home. Coming to work is a nice way to forget about my problems at home."

"Especially since work included taking a trip to the wine country, eating expensive dinners, drinking lots of wine after working hours."

Kirsten managed a small laugh. "Yeah, we've had a good time." Kirsten looked up at Carter and stared into his eyes.

Before getting caught up in the moment, Carter turned away, getting off the stool and backing up a little, and said, "Kirsten, while I was at work today without you, I've been thinking…"

Kirsten's face turned sour.

"I don't think it's a good idea we work together anymore. I was totally out of line kissing you last night. I should have stopped after I told you how gorgeous you are. As much as I'd like to kiss you, I shouldn't be interfering with your marriage."

Kirsten blushed a little, but continued to stare at Carter somberly.

Carter continued, "No offense, but if I'm being quite honest with you, I think your using me as a scapegoat for your marital problems."

Kirsten interrupted defensively, "Carter, that's not true!"

"It is Kirsten, you may not want to hear it, but I think you're trying to get back at Sandy by spending so much time with me. Come on Kirsten, you're not attracted to me. It's just that while you've been distant from Sandy, I was the one who was there to make you smile these last few weeks."

Kirsten turned her head. For some reason, tears were building up in her eyes. Maybe Carter put the situation into a better, clearer perspective for her.

"Kirsten," Carter said more softly as he gently wiped a tear from her eye, "I love working with you, and as much as it hurts me to leave you, I care about you too much to keep working with you and potentially ruining your relationship with Sandy. You need to talk to him and tell him how you're hurting. You'll work it out." Carter leaned down and placed one last kiss on Kirsten's cheek, and then let himself out, leaving Kirsten speechless and alone in the kitchen, just as she was the night before. She sat down on the bar stool and drank the rest of the bottle of wine. It was going to be another long, long night.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kirsten had eventually made her way over to the Cohens' new bar, where she continued the drinking party alone with more wine. In the midst of drinking her 4th glass, the phone rang. "_Why does the phone have to be in the kitchen?_," she thought to herself as she got off the bar stool and headed for the kitchen. She was a bit woozy after having so many drinks and tripped over her own foot as she took a step. She fell face forward onto the hard, wood floor. The wine glass she was holding shattered onto the floor, cutting her face. She lay on the floor and closed her eyes, the room was spinning and she felt stinging in her right cheek, she just wanted to rest and forgot about the phone for a minute.

She was startled when the phone woke her up. She forgot why she was laying on the floor. As she slowly got up, her right cheek started stinging badly. She looked down at the floor and saw shattered glass and blood. Then it all started coming back to her. By this time the phone had stopped ringing again. Kirsten left the mess on the floor and slowly made her way into the bathroom, noticing a pretty big laceration below her eye that had dried up blood all over her cheek. She quickly cleaned out the cut and held some ice to her face, it hurt badly. She walked into the bedroom to lye down and noticed that her cell phone had 2 voicemails on it. She quickly dialed the number and started to cry, realizing that she probably had missed the boys' phone calls when she was with talking to Carter or when she was drinking away her problems. She felt like a bad, careless mother. Bad enough she was lying to her husband, but missing her kids' phone call because of her own problems? Kirsten felt horrible for that. She was now crying uncontrollably.

The first message was Seth and Ryan, calling to ask her why she didn't answer the house phone. Kirsten figured that must've been when she tried to answer the phone and fell. The second message was Sandy, calling with concern in his voice, saying, "Kirsten, you're starting to worry me, the boys called the house phone and your cell phone, I just tried both, and you're not answering. Please call me back as soon as you get this. If I don't hear from you by 11pm EST, I'm taking a red eye to come home. Please call me. I love you."

Kirsten looked at the time. 7:44pm. She was too drunk and tired to think what time it was in Florida, but she picked up the phone anyway.

"Kirsten! WHERE WERE YOU?" Sandy shouted into the phone.

"I'm sorry, Sandy," she said trying to cover up her crying.

"WHERE WERE YOU?"

"I ran late in a meeting. My phone was off. I'm sorry. Put the boys on, please, I want to talk to them," she said hurriedly. She hated lying about where she was.

"They're out. I told them to get out and have fun. I didn't want them to worry about you like I was," Sandy said snottily.

"Sandy I'm sorry. It's been a rough few days," Kirsten said desperately. "I'll make it up to you."

"You've been acting weird ever since we left for Miami. You okay?"

"I'm fine, just tired. Its getting pretty late for you so I'll let you go. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Sandy said into the phone, although his face showed concern. He was worried about his wife. Something in her voice didn't sound right. He dialed Seth's cell phone. He had to get back home to Kirsten. "_Maybe she was lonely by herself and didn't want to admit it so she stayed at work_," Sandy thought to himself.

Meanwhile, back in Newport, Kirsten was sitting on the bed, sobbing like a baby. She cried because she was in pain…physical and emotional pain…

She cried for the pain in her cheek.

She cried for Carter leaving because of her.

She cried for lying to Sandy and hurting him.

She cried for her marriage that was falling apart.

And most of all, she cried because she felt like a bad mother for completely forgetting about her kids today.

She longed for more wine, but the trip to the kitchen was way too far for her tired, drunken self, so she grabbed the bottle of wine that had fallen on the floor that morning and drank what was left in it. At least this was a temporary way to drown out her problems.

Let me know what you think!


	3. The Accusations

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Sorry this chapter took so long. Please let me know what you think!

Sandy arrived in Newport at around 10am local time. Thoughts were racing through his mind about Kirsten. Something seemed off with her.

He couldn't wait to get home, but at the same time he didn't want her to suspect that he was checking up on her. He had to think of a reason why he came home early so she wouldn't suspect anything. At least he had all day to think about it while Kirsten was at work…

…or was she? Fifteen minutes later the cab pulled up to drop Sandy off, where he noticed that the Range Rover was parked in the driveway. Why was Kirsten home? Now Sandy was very worried and had no idea what to tell Kirsten his reason was for being home. He sighed, it was going to be a long day.

He opened the front door to find a quiet house. Instead of his usual greeting of, "Honey, I'm home," he decided to quietly look for Kirsten. He walked down the hall, past the bar, and into the family room to see if Kirsten was watching tv.

He stopped suddenly when he saw what looked like blood and glass shattered on the floor. "_Oh no_," he started panicking to himself, "_someone broke into the house and hurt Kirsten!_"

Sandy then ran into the kitchen, hurriedly looking for his wife in a panic saying, "Kirsten?" He slowed down a bit when he saw two empty glasses and an empty bottle of wine and cheese and crackers on the counter, wondering what could have been going on.

He then headed toward his and Kirsten's bedroom, praying his wife was in there unharmed. The doors to the bedroom were open, which was odd, considering that the Cohens' always kept the bedroom doors shut, considering that the kids would surely not want to know what went on in there. Sandy sighed, unfortunately, those days were months ago. For all he knew, those bedroom doors could have stayed open since last May when Seth and Ryan ran away, as their love making declined drastically in one year's time.

Sandy found Kirsten passed out with an empty bottle of wine in the bed with her. Instinctively, Sandy nudged Kirsten's arm and said, "Kirsten, wake up!"

Kirsten jumped, startled when she heard someone's voice. She let out a soft, but frightened, "Aahh! Leave me alone!" as she covered herself in the blankets trying to hide.

"Kirsten, its me…Sandy!" He didn't mean to sound alarming, but he was worried about his wife…not answering the phone…acting weird…staying home from work today…the blood and shattered glass…the empty wine glasses.

Kirsten moaned softly as the throbbing pain in her cheek returned as she awoke. She turned around to face Sandy, revealing the scrape and bruise around her eye and said "Sandy? What are you doing home? Is everything alright?"

"Kirsten! What happened to you?" Sandy said in a panic when he saw her face.

"Huh?" she asked confused, still not awake enough to remember last night.

"Your face, what happened to your face," Sandy said more sternly, beginning to think it wasn't an attacker but a careless mistake on Kirsten's behalf.

Kirsten just stared at Sandy. The events weren't coming in to her mind clearly. She had a hangover. Everything hurt. She just didn't feel like thinking about it this early.

"Kirsten, wake up!" Sandy said sternly. "I've got a lot more questions for you so start answering!"

Kirsten sighed, still trying to remember everything. She rubbed her head and said, "I fell. I tripped on the way to answer the phone."

"That's it?"

"Yeah," Kirsten said, although she knew Sandy knew she was lying. She just didn't know what to say…it was too early and she had a hangover and Sandy wasn't supposed to be home yet!

"Kirsten there's got to be more to this than what you're telling me. I found some stuff around the house that you need to do some explaining for. I suggest you take a shower and meet me in the living room."

"You asked me how I cut my cheek and I told you. You didn't ask about anything else so don't start accusing me of anything," Kirsten replied snottily. The hangover turned into major crankiness. She then got up and took a shower, anything to avoid the current situation.

When she came out, she was more composed and began by saying, "Sandy who do you think you are barging in here so early in the morning and demanding answers from me. It's not like you told me why you're home. Why are you home?"

There was no way around the subject and the answer just came out, "I'm worried about you!"

"What?" Kirsten said taken back with a suspicious look on her face.

"I am," Sandy said more calmly. "You've been acting weird and when you weren't answering the phones yesterday, I knew something was wrong. So tell me, what went on here last night. Why is there shattered glass and blood on the floor?"

"From when I fell. The glass cut my face."

"Were you drunk?"

"Sandy you're interrogating me! I'm not a child who snuck out past her curfew."

"Don't you think you would be suspicious if you walked into this mess? Were you even going to tell me?"

"You want to know what happened? Here's what happened. Carter came over. We worked on the magazine over wine, cheese, and crackers. He left. I finished my glass of wine. I put a bottle we hadn't opened back in the bar. The phone rang and I dropped my glass as I went to get it. Okay?"

"What about the empty bottle in the bedroom?"

Kirsten was caught. So far her half-truth story was working but she had no idea how to cover for the empty wine bottle in the bedroom. "After I cut my forehead, I went back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle Carter and I had started. My head hurt badly so I drank the rest of the bottle. I wasn't thinking straight and I brought it in here."

Little did Sandy know that was a bottle Kirsten drank all on her own within one day, besides what she had drank with Carter.

"I'm sorry Kirsten," Sandy said more calmly, "but I'm worried. I mean what if I didn't come home today."

"I would have rested like I was planning on doing. I didn't really want to go in to work today with this huge cut on my face," Kirsten said as if she had everything under control when the truth was, she never heard the alarm go off and hadn't even called work to let them know she wasn't coming in. Speaking of which, she wondered why they hadn't called wondering where she was. Then it came to her, Carter probably covered for her.

Sandy noticed Kirsten daydreaming and said, "Kirsten? Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Kirsten was startled and said, "No, nothing else," with what she hoped was a reaffirming smile. "Why don't you go shower, and then you can tell me about Miami over breakfast."

Sandy nodded, still thinking about everything his wife just said. Meanwhile, Kirsten scurried into the kitchen and went right for the vodka. She chugged it right from the bottle. She needed some after that interrogation.

Little did she know, Sandy was watching from inside the bedroom through the open curtains. He frowned. What was happening to his wife?

Sandy debated with himself all day about whether or not he should bring up the subject with Kirsten. He hated to keep accusing her but he wanted to make sure she was okay.

Meanwhile, Kirsten was having one of her bad drinking days. It was one of those days when she just craved alcohol so bad. All of the tension from last night and this morning were getting to her and she just couldn't control herself. The alcohol relieved her pain.

While Sandy was on the phone checking in with the boys, she grabbed the vodka again for a quick chug. Sandy had been clingy and suspicious around her all day so when she had the opportunity for another quick drink, she went for it. Not fast enough though. As she was putting the bottle back into the fridge, Sandy walked back into the kitchen to hang up the phone.

"Kirsten, what'd you take out of the fridge?"

Kirsten froze, letting the cool air of the fridge relieve the redness that was developing on her cheeks.

"I was, uh, checking to see if we had any dinner for tonight. We don't. Want to go out?" she said hurriedly.

Pretending to play along with Kirsten's plan, Sandy said sweetly, "Yeah, that sounds good, we haven't gone out for dinner alone in a long time," as he hurriedly went towards her and wrapped his arms around her. He leaned in to kiss her, wanting to taste the vodka on her breath so he had proof she was just drinking.

Kirsten was hesitant about kissing Sandy. Just last night she had been kissing Carter. She felt like Sandy would know she kissed another man. She sighed, how was she ever going to tell Sandy about what really happened last night? Would she even tell him?

As thoughts raced through her mind, Sandy quickly approached her lips. He slid his tongue out and raced to get into her mouth. Normally he'd race to get into her mouth because he loved kissing her, but not today. Today he wanted to catch her in the act of drinking, as horrible as that might seem, because he was worried about her. Not meaning to, he quickly pulled his mouth out as his tongue tasted strong vodka. It was way too strong to keep kissing her.

"Kirsten," Sandy said as he coughed, "you were just drinking! I taste vodka!"

Kirsten froze again. She had been so concerned about Sandy noticing her awkwardness to kiss him because of the Carter kiss that she forgot that she had just drank.

"Yeah, I had a drink. So what?"

"So what?" Sandy repeated what she had said loudly. "Kirsten I've been watching you all day. You didn't have just one drink. You've been swigging that vodka ever since I walked through the door. Tell me what's going on with you?" he said angrily. He didn't mean for it to come out like that, but he was frustrated. Now that he thought about it, his wife had the signs of being an alcoholic.

"You know what Sandy? I'm tired of your accusations. Why is it such a big deal that I had a few drinks today? You've never said anything any of the other times I've had a few drinks."

"I know! Maybe I should have been watching you more carefully! You went from chardonnay in a glass to drinking vodka straight out of the bottle! There's something wrong with that, Kirsten! Add to that the mess the house was when I walked in this morning. You need some help, Kirsten! I think you're an alcoholic!"

"I am not! Why'd you come home? Just to sneak up on me and accuse me of being an alcoholic?" she screamed back as she grabbed her keys and purse.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sandy said angrily.

"None of your business. All you're going to do is follow me. Just leave me alone!" she said as she quickly ran out of the house.

Sandy quickly grabbed his keys and left. He couldn't let Kirsten drive in her condition. He had seen her sneak in drinking 3 times so far that day, maybe even more when she went to the bathroom and while he was on the phone. Who knows where, when, and how much she had been drinking. He sighed. It was going to be a long night.


	4. The Long Night

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Thank you for reviewing! Let me know what you think!

Sandy walked back into Kirsten's room with a cup of coffee. It had been exactly 12 hours since the fight he had with Kirsten last night. It was now 7am.

He sat down and took Kirsten's right hand in his again...the same position he had been in for the last 8 hours since she got out of surgery to repair her broken rib that was protruding through her skin.

Kirsten got into an accident on the freeway after she charged out of the house the night before. Sandy wasn't sure where Kirsten was heading to on the freeway-no one was-because Kirsten was till sleeping from all the drugs she'd been given and thus hadn't been asked any questions by authority officials yet.

The doctors weren't even sure she'd remember the accident. She had a concussion, a broken nose, and 18 stitches along the left side of her face. The doctors had to shave off some of her hair to attend to the cut on her scalp. Along with her facial injuries, Kirsten had 2 broken ribs, 8 stitches where her rib had been protruding, and her left arm was broken. Along with these injuries, Kirsten still had the scrape on her face from when she tripped two nights before. Even though Kirsten was sleeping Sandy could tell Kirsten wasn't in a restful sleep. Her eyes were scrunched shut and her forehead was wrinkled. Sandy hated to see his wife like this.

Sandy had called the boys right after he got the call that Kirsten was in an accident. Sandy had been driving around for about an hour looking for Kirsten. He panicked when he saw "Newport Memorial Hospital" on the caller id of his cell phone. He flew to the hospital when he heard the nurse ask him if he was "Sandy Cohen because a Kirsten Cohen who has his number programmed in her cell phone as her husband was just admitted to the hospital because of an accident."

Sandy told the boys to get a good night's rest and come up to the hospital in the morning.

About an hour later, the boys arrived, flowers and balloons in hand.

"How is she?" they both asked simultaneously.

"She's okay."

"Are you sure?" Seth asked unconvinced as he looked at his mother and made a painful face himself.

"I'm sure. Your mother was lucky. The car was totaled."

"How'd she get into the accident? Where was she?" Ryan asked.

Sandy paused. He knew what caused the accident but he didn't want to tell the boys. It wasn't his horrible reason to tell. It was Kirsten's. He didn't want to be the one to tell the boys that while he and Kirsten had always instructed them to never drink and drive, their mother didn't do the same. So instead, Sandy opted for, "We don't know anything yet. We're not even sure she'll remember the accident. I've checked with the police and they're still investigating."

After kissing Kirsten's forehead, the boys headed off to school.

About 2 hours later, Kirsten woke up panting and moving around as if she had a bad dream. "Sandy? Sandy?" she asked frantically as she turned over reaching out for Sandy, thinking she was in her and Sandy's bed.

"Kirsten I'm right here," Sandy said sweetly.

"Sandy?" Kirsten said again opening her eyes, "how come you're not in the bed? It's still early. Work isn't for another 2 hours."

Sandy started panicking. _Did his wife lose some of her memory?_ Frantically, he buzzed for the nurse to come while he said to Kirsten as calmly as he could, "Kirsten you're in the hospital. You were in an accident last night. Just relax, everything is going to be okay." He rubbed his hand over hers to calm her down more.

The nurse came in and Sandy whispered to her how Kirsten woke up thinking she was home as if nothing had happened. The nurse informed Sandy that Kirsten might talk a bit "out of her head" because of all the drugs she'd been given throughout the night to relax her and that it's common for patients to become a little confused as a side effect. Sandy breathed a sigh of relief.

After Sandy and the nurse informed Kirsten about what happened, a variety of local authorities came into the room to talk to Kirsten about the accident. They asked her if she remembered anything, to which she didn't.

One of the police officer's Sandy knew took him aside and told him that the accident was a DWI and that Kirsten was clearly over the legal limit. Thankfully, the other driver wasn't hurt, but Kirsten would have to go to trial since she was driving while drunk. Sandy asked him what would happen at the trial. "It depends, but from the looks of it, your wife could lose her license for a while and pay a hefty fine. And since she was way over the legal limit, the judge might order her to rehab," the officer responded.

Sandy tried not to think about the events to come. _Rehab?_ He knew Kirsten wouldn't agree to that. He sighed. He remembered thinking that last night was a long night. Now it felt like the next few months would be long.

Sandy tried to focus on Kirsten and being thankful that she was okay and was improving, but it was hard not to think of the consequences of Kirsten's drinking and driving.

A bit later the doctor examined Kirsten and informed Sandy that her condition was improving and she'd be released in two days.

Later that night, Kirsten was doing a lot better and was thinking more clearly.

"Sandy?" she said barely above a whisper with sacredness in her voice.

"Yeah honey?" Sandy asked as he turned to face his wife and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"I have a confession to make…" And with that, Kirsten told Sandy about everything. About Carter coming over for dinner two nights in a row. About how she told Carter she was attracted to him. About the kiss they shared. About getting drunk and tripping. She ended the confession with, "I'm sorry, Sandy. I know you're probably thinking that I'm just telling you now because you'll be easier on me since I'm in the hospital, but I don't want that. You don't have to forgive me right away. I was wrong. I hope in time you will forgive me though," she said softly.

"Kirsten, its okay. I forgive you. We definitely have some issues to work out and we will, but we don't have to do that today. I just want us to focus on you getting better. Then we'll work on our marriage," Sandy said reassuringly. He wanted to enforce the fact that he would stand by Kirsten no matter what she did in the last few weeks. Sandy knew that she was definitely going to need him in days to come because of the accident. After all, she didn't remember that she was driving while intoxicated. She would soon find out though.

"Sandy?" Kirsten said with a small smile.

"Yeah?" Sandy responded, happy to see Kirsten smile a little.

"Why are you wearing my wedding rings around your neck?" she said with a small laugh.

"Oh," Sandy said more somberly, "honey, they had to cut them all off because your hand was swelling too much. The nurse gave them to me and I had Seth and Ryan bring up some glue and a necklace. I glued them together for now. But don't worry, I'll replace them for you."

"That's okay, I'm just glad they were able to save them," Kirsten said sweetly. "Since I can't wear them with my swollen fingers, can you put the necklace around my neck? I want them close to me."

"Aw honey, the doctors don't want you wearing any jewelry. How about I leave them on the nightstand? That way you can hold them."

"Thanks. Did you say the boys were here?"

"Yeah, they were."

"And they saw me like this?"

"Yup. They send their love."

"Tell them I love them too. I wish they didn't see me like this. I look horrible."

"No you don't. Still as beautiful as always," Sandy said smiling as he leaned in and kissed Kirsten's forehead.

For the first time in over 24 hours, Sandy smiled. It felt good. He tried to hold onto the moment as long as he could because he knew that tomorrow the accident report would be finished and Kirsten would find out that she was going to trial…and might have her license taken away for a while…and have to pay a hefty fine…and have to go to rehab.

Let me know what you think. Thanks.


	5. The Realization and Confrontation

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Thank you to all those who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think!

Sandy walked in to Kirsten's room the next day with apprehension. He knew that if she was feeling any better at all from the accident she would start feeling much worse when she found out the consequences of it today. The second he walked into the room, he knew Kirsten had already found out. Through all of her bandages, Sandy could still see the anger in her face and the tension in her body. Her arms crossed and she was shaking her head to herself in aggravation, mumbling something to herself, not even noticing Sandy walking in.

"Hey honey…" Sandy began softly.

"You don't have to beat around the bush, I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW! DON'T REMIND ME!" Kirsten snapped at him angrily.

Ignoring her, Sandy chimed in, "Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to talk to some of the guys I know at the P.D. office. Explain to them what happened. The stress you've been under. That it was just that, an accident. Don't worry, honey."

"Sandy, NO! I don't want you doing any of that. I can handle this myself. Just stay out of it."

"Honey I'm just trying to help you. Make things easier for you."

"Well maybe I don't want your help. Maybe I could've used your help a long time ago but we're beyond that point, aren't we?" Kirsten snottily said back.

"What do you mean, Kirsten?" Sandy asked hopelessly, wondering if Kirsten was referring to the fact that she may have needed Sandy by her side more during these past few months and since he wasn't, it caused her to drink, or because he should have been more considerate of her feelings when he was helping Rebecca, or for a different reason altogether.

"Nothing, just forget it," Kirsten said as she closed her eyes, feeling the tears fill them, hoping Sandy wouldn't notice. She wished that she could turn over so Sandy wouldn't see her face at all, but she couldn't with her broken arm and ribs.

Sandy decided to not say anything else because he could see that this fight was getting no where but into another round of the two of them saying hurtful things to one another that they didn't mean to say and would regret later. In the back of his head, Sandy hoped that after the trial was over and after Kirsten got her life back together, they would go to marriage counseling. Sandy couldn't understand how they could still fight after the accident. It should've been a wake up call, but somehow this fight had crept its way in. Sandy was tired of fighting, thus he opted to say nothing else right now.

The rest of the day went by with very little conversation between Sandy and Kirsten. Kirsten pretended to sleep most of the day not wanting to speak to Sandy, or anyone else for that matter. She had a lot to think about. Once she got out of the hospital, she had a lot on her table. She needed to prepare for court and figure out what to do about work since she didn't want anyone knowing what happened. Sandy just sat there thinking about what was to come. It was as if this was the calm before the storm.

Things changed for the worst when Seth and Ryan came to the hospital after dinner.

After saying hello and talking about Kirsten's progress, Seth asked Sandy to come outside of the room to talk. Seth said with concern in his voice, "There was a rumor going around at school that mom got charged with DWI. Is that true?"

Sandy was speechless. How could he lie to his son about something so serious, but at the same time how could he tell him that it was true?

Seth realized from Sandy's expression that it was true. Not thinking, Seth ran into his mother's room yelling, "How could you mom? How could you drink and drive after always telling Ryan and I to NEVER drink and drive? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Kirsten was taken back, in total shock of what she just heard. She immediately looked at Sandy, saying, "HOW COULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?"

"I didn't, he found out himself," Sandy replied coolly, as if he was saying, "See for yourself Kirsten, you DO have an alcohol problem and it is hurting our family."

"Is this true?" Ryan asked with disgust in his voice.

Tears started forming in Kirsten's eyes. She hated to see her kids looking at her as if she was the worst parent in the world.

"I don't think we need any more proof than that Ryan. She has no answer. Come on, let's get out of here."

Sandy interjected, saying, "Boys, hold on a second. You can't just walk away like this. Your mother didn't mean to do what she did. She has a lot to deal with right now. She needs you."

"Yeah, well, I needed her too. She hasn't been there for me or Ryan these past few weeks. I had the biggest comic pitch of my life and what was she doing on the night of the pitch? She was drinking. Thanks a lot Mom, now I'm not only a dork by the kids at school, but I'm known as the alcoholic's son," Seth said with sadness and frustration in his voice. He then again told Ryan that they were leaving.

Ryan held back for a minute and went over to Kirsten, saying, "Please use this accident as a reminder that you need help. Please don't go back to your drinking habits. They'll only get worse. You see how Seth is reacting already. I've seen my mother act like you're acting now. I'm disappointed, but I know you can stop drinking if you commit yourself to stop. I also know that there is a difference between you and my mother. She abandoned my family. I know you would never do that, so don't do anything to make us think you would. Please get some help before it's too late and like my mother, you really do abandon us. I don't want this family that I love to fall apart." With that, Ryan followed behind Seth.

Sandy followed behind them to make sure they were okay.

Back in her room, Kirsten cried hysterically. Her life was falling apart. Everything she had ever dreamed of having-a perfect husband, kids, a family-was falling apart because of her drinking. She hated feeling so guilty. For the first time since the accident, Kirsten craved alcohol. The guilt was too much for her to take and she knew that alcohol would at least temporarily erase her guilt and pain and all her other problems. She buzzed the nurse to confirm that she was still being released the next day. She couldn't wait to get home to get some booze.

Let me know what you think!


	6. The Hurt Family

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter. Please let me know what you think of this one as I worked extremely hard on it and tried to take everyone's thoughts into account!

One would think that Sandy would have been relieved and happy to have Kirsten coming home from the hospital, but he knew what it meant. It meant that the pending court date till Kirsten was released from the hospital would now be scheduled since Kirsten was capable of attending court. It meant that Kirsten would be on trial for drunk driving. He didn't even want to think about all of the possible outcomes of whatever the verdict was. Sandy sighed as he thought these things over again and again in his mind.

Kirsten, on the other hand, was thrilled to be coming home. She couldn't wait to hit the bottle. How she missed her vodka. It had been a few days and she longed for it to relieve her stress, especially now that she had to face an upcoming trial.

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Sandy got Kirsten settled on the couch with her medications and some magazines. Unfortunately Sandy had to go in to work that day. He had cancelled appointments with his clients for the last 3 days because of the accident and he was afraid that if he didn't go in, he'd be out of a job. He sighed, that was the chance he took when he decided to open up his own law firm and have no secretary to help organize his schedule. He just hoped that Kirsten would be okay and wouldn't drink, although he had a pretty good system in place to see if she did drink anything while he was gone…he counted all the liquor bottles they had in the house before he left. He sighed, it was sad that it had come to this.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked Kirsten, still hesitant to leave her alone.

"I'm fine," Kirsten said reassuringly, chasing him out of the house so that she could get a drink, "go, get your mind off me and my problems," she said as he walked out of the house.

"That's right Kirsten, let Sandy 'Get his mind off you and your problems', the problems that you have to deal with alone," Kirsten thought to herself. She really did feel alone. She sighed and got up slowly and went to the bar, grabbing her first bottle of vodka since the accident.

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Seth and Ryan were surprised when they saw Kirsten sitting on the couch in the tv room when they came home after school as they had thought Kirsten was getting released at around 5pm, not earlier.

"Woah!" Seth said surprised as he backed up when he saw his mother lying on the couch.

Kirsten didn't know how her kids would react to her being home after they, according to her, lashed out at her the day before.

"I'm glad you're home," Ryan said calmly as he looked Kirsten in the eyes, but with a hint of force in his voice and a glare in his eyes, as if he was saying, _"I'm glad you're home and that you're going to get better for yourself and you're family."_

"So tonight's the prom," Kirsten said lightly, trying to change the subject to about the boys.

Ryan looked at Seth, and seeing that Seth wasn't responding, said, "Yes, it is."

"Don't forget to bring the girls here before you go. I want to take some pictures," Kirsten said with a small smile.

"No, no, and no. I am not letting Summer see her like this," Seth said to Ryan. Kirsten frowned. Seth wouldn't even look at or talk to her.

"Seth, your mom wants to take some pictures. Its no big deal, we'll just pick up the girls a little earlier and come back here for a few minutes," Ryan said ignoring Seth's reason for not wanting to come back. As angry as Ryan was at Kirsten for turning to alcohol, he didn't want to see Kirsten and Seth's relationship fall apart. He knew Seth would later regret what he was saying to his mother during this difficult time. He himself had regretted thing she said to his mother when she had her bad alcoholic days.

"Please Seth, for me. I want to have some pictures of my babies going to their first prom, and it will take my mind off things," Kirsten said hopelessly.

Ryan gave Seth "the eyes," and Seth responded unexcitedly with, "Whatever, but do not, I mean do not even think about embarrassing me in front of Summer. You've embarrassed me enough already to last the rest of my high school years with your drinking." The boys then headed upstairs to get ready.

Kirsten frowned. _Why did Seth have to keep bringing it up?_ She started getting the craving again. She stood up and headed over to the bar. She looked around the bar, remembering why she told Sandy she wanted to renovate the dining room in the first place. Not because she wanted to have a more accessible drinking area to drink more, but because she wanted something to keep herself occupied during the long summer without the boys.

She sighed, never in a million years did she ever imagine that things would turn out the way they were now. She opened the small refrigerator behind the bar and got out the opened container of vodka she drank earlier that day, and drank it straight out of the bottle, like usual. She contemplated opening a new bottle when she finished that one, and decided to, considering that Seth didn't want her to embarrass him when he brought Summer over so she thus needed to remain calm, therefore needing more to drink to prevent any outbursts.

After drinking, Kirsten went to the bedroom to freshen up a bit as best she could with her one hand since the other was in a sling. When Sandy arrived home and saw that she had left the couch, he worried that Kirsten had done more than just freshen up. Though Kirsten seemed to be acting normal, he still suspected she drank during the day. She was way too calm for everything she was going through. He didn't want to confront her before the kids came though, as he knew it would only cause the kids embarrassment, so he left it alone for the time being, and when Kirsten wasn't looking, he counted all the liquor in the house to see if he was correct in his assumptions and would therefore have a better case when confronting her.

The boys, Summer, and Marissa came back and Kirsten warmly greeted the girls, trying to hide from her sons the fact that she had been drinking earlier. A bit too cheerful and over-exaggerating about taking pictures, everyone quickly suspected that Kirsten had been drinking because there was no way Kirsten could have been so bubbly given the circumstances she currently was under. Nor would the normal Kirsten act like this.

Seth, and now even Ryan, were both frustrated with Kirsten. Seth nudged Ryan and told him it was time to go, and they left, rather suddenly. While Ryan didn't care if Kirsten embarrassed him in front of the girls, he knew it would ruin Seth's first prom and he didn't want that to happen. He would work on Kirsten and Seth's relationship tomorrow, but tonight, he wanted Seth to enjoy himself at the prom.

After the kids left, Sandy confronted Kirsten. "While you were taking so many pictures, I happened to notice that 2 bottles of vodka are missing."

Kirsten froze, unable to think of a response.

"I know you were drinking today. If it wasn't obvious from how you acted in front of the kids, I have other proof. I counted how much liquor we have in the house this morning before I left for work. 2 bottles of vodka are missing now. I didn't think I would have to throw out all the liquor. I thought that the accident and its consequences would be enough to get you to stop drinking. And even if you were going to drink, I didn't think you'd do it the day you got released from the hospital! How could you Kirsten?" Sandy asked with disgust in his voice.

"I…I…I just needed to. Okay? And besides, I'm not drunk!" Kirsten stuttered.

"I would think that you'd be pretty familiar with what the sensation of being drunk is, considering how often you are, but apparently not. You are drunk Kirsten!" Sandy said sarcastically, and then added in, "You need help!"

"I do not! Just leave me alone!" Kirsten screamed loudly as she walked out of the living room. She really had no answer for Sandy, or worse yet, for herself. She had no idea what to say for herself.

Sandy felt like drinking himself. He knew that Kirsten still drinking after the accident would do nothing for her case. That night Sandy slept on the couch. After Sandy told Kirsten she needed help, she ran into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. He figured it was for the best if he left her alone. He thought maybe, just maybe, some alone time would make her realize how bad she was hurting herself and how much she did need help.

The next two days not much changed…

Seth still wouldn't talk to Kirsten, or even look her in the eyes.

Ryan continued to try to talk to Seth and get him to work on his relationship with his mother.

Sandy continued to try and get Kirsten to stop drinking and convince her to get some help.

Sandy and Kirsten continued to fight with one another about Kirsten's drinking.

And Kirsten still denied she had a problem and snuck drinks in when she thought her family wasn't looking, but they were. They saw everything, and as she continued to hurt herself, they continued to get hurt by her as well.

On Monday Kirsten received a summons saying that her trial was in 3 weeks. She had 3 weeks to prepare a defense for herself, and right now, she had nothing.

When Sandy came home from work that day, he found Kirsten in the kitchen crying, something he hadn't seen her do in a long time. In fact, since before the accident, because ever since the accident all she did was yell at everyone. But not today. Sandy couldn't wait to find out what had made her open up like this and cry. He hoped she had come to a realization that she needed help.

"Kirsten? You okay?" Sandy asked rather coldly. As much as he tried to be compassionate, it was hard when all Kirsten did was snap at him.

Kirsten moved the letter toward him, which he read anxiously. When he finished reading it, he said more compassionately, "Kirsten, it's going to be okay," as he wrapped his arms around her rather awkwardly. Not only had he and Kirsten lacked emotional comfort recently, but also physical comfort. They hadn't hugged, or let alone kissed in weeks.

As he held her tightly, he started thinking about the case, and for the first time, he felt relieved that they knew when her case would be. Maybe this was just what his wife needed. Court ordered help…rehab. Because Sandy was tired of trying to convince his wife that she needed help, so maybe this would be what's best for her. Then maybe they could start rebuilding their family…and be hugging like this because they loved each other and were getting ready to make love…and not hugging because Kirsten was going on trial for drunk driving as she continued to battle alcoholism.

Let me know what you think!

The next chapter will feature the trial and the verdict. I guarantee you that you won't believe what the verdict is and what happens next. Review and I will have the next chapter up super fast!


	7. The Sentence

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Thank you to those who reviewed. It means a lot to me.

To add on to the already stressful situation the Cohens' were in at the time, two weeks before the trial, Caleb passed away. This only caused more emotional problems for everyone, especially Kirsten.

A week before the trial, Kirsten was drinking more than ever, not caring about anything. All she did was sleep and drink all day.

Sandy was starting to give up. He was tired of constantly babying his wife but at the same time couldn't bear to watch her fall apart anymore. He couldn't wait for the trial. This, he felt, was what Kirsten, and all of the Cohens, needed.

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Kirsten opened her closet and grabbed one of her business suits. It had been a few weeks since she'd worn one as she wasn't in work in 4 weeks. She sighed. She should have been getting ready for work. Instead, she was getting day for the biggest trial of her life.

She hobbled into the kitchen, still in physical pain from the accident. Sandy eyed his wife over, noticing the differences in her appearance now that she was wearing a business suit, something she had worn countless times to work and looked great in.

Except now she didn't look great at all. Her hair looked matted and tangled, like it hadn't been combed in weeks, her face was still bruised, and her eyes looked bloodshot and glossy. The tight-fitting suit that used to flatter Kirsten in all the right places now hung loosely on her thin body like it was too big for her.

Not many words were exchanged between Sandy and Kirsten that morning, except when Sandy grabbed Kirsten's arm away from the fridge when he saw her reach for a bottle when she thought he wasn't looking. She made an angry face, but didn't yell this time. Sandy hoped that was a sign she realized that what she was doing was wrong.

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Kirsten stood nervously when the verdict was reached. She instinctively clutched her left ring finger, wanting to hold her wedding ring, only to find that they were missing. She looked down at her hand, remembering that her wedding set got cut off during the accident. She turned around and glanced at Sandy, who was sitting in the first row. As much as she was angry with him these past few weeks, she wanted nothing more than for him to be by her side right now.

Sandy nodded, as if to say, _"You're okay, it's going to be okay." _He hated to see his wife have to go through this. He never saw her look the way she did that day. She looked so fearful and scared. He wanted to go over to her and put his arms around her and hold her tight and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't. He knew she had to do this on her own.

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Kirsten stood in shock as she heard her sentence, staring straight ahead without moving one inch.

Meanwhile, Sandy breathed a small sigh of relief. All he heard was rehab and he was happy.

Kirsten kept hearing her sentence over and over again in her head.

$5000 fine. _This wasn't a big deal. She had more than enough money to pay that._

1 year forfeiture of drivers license. _This was a huge deal. How was she supposed to get to work? To the supermarket? To the mall? Anywhere, for that matter!_

6 weeks rehab. _This was the worst part of the sentence. Rehab? If enough people didn't know already, how was she going to hide her problem when she'd be at some clinic for 6 weeks away from work and the social activities of Newport!_

She started feeling light headed and sick to her stomach so she clutched onto the table.

Sandy looked over at his wife with concern, hoping she'd be okay with the sentence. Deep down he knew she wouldn't be though. He started walking up to Kirsten after the judge adjourned court.

As she thought about what was to come, Kirsten started getting wobbly on her feet and started falling over. Her lawyer quickly grabbed her to prevent her from hitting the floor saying, "Kirsten, are you alright?"

Her lawyer sat her down in a chair as she replied loudly and angrily, "What do you think? What do you really, honestly think?"

Her lawyer tried to calm her down and remind her that she was in public, as she was starting to cause a scene.

Sandy quickly made his way up to his wife. He knew the lawyer was trying his best to avoid Kirsten any public embarrassment, but Sandy knew better. He knew that Kirsten was beyond caring. He knew that if she didn't care about her family, she wouldn't care what anyone else thought of her either!

Apprehensively, Sandy sat down next to Kirsten and noticed that she had started to cry. Softly, he said, "Hey honey."

"Leave me alone!" she replied as angrily as she could through her sobs. She hated that she was crying right now, but she couldn't control herself. She just wanted to be angry, but for some reason, tears were in her eyes. She turned her head away from Sandy so that he wouldn't see the tears that were now streaming down her face.

"Everything is going to be okay," Sandy said reassuringly. He'd said that countless times ever since the accident but for the first time, he sincerely thought that everything would be okay, given that Kirsten was going to rehab.

He was relieved that Kirsten was ordered to rehab because he wasn't sure he could take Kirsten's drinking habits any longer and he didn't want to think what that meant…although he did think of it…he had thought about it ever since Kirsten embarrassed their kids on the day of the Prom when she took pictures of them while she was drunk…just in case the court didn't order Kirsten to rehab and she wouldn't go on her own, he had an ultimatum for her.

He never thought it'd ever come down to an ultimatum in a marriage that was so strong, but it did. He had no choice. He couldn't keep running himself down as he constantly spied on Kirsten and kept fighting with her. He couldn't watch their kids get any more traumatized as they watched their mother hurt herself. He just couldn't do it anymore.

Thus, he would give her an ultimatum: _"Either rehab or our family. If you refuse rehab, I'm taking the boys out of this house because I can't let them watch their mother do this to herself and her family. And I can't be in a marriage with you when I constantly have to watch you while you put nothing into our marriage anymore."_ Yeah, it was harsh, but Sandy was to the point where he couldn't take it anymore.

He was glad it hadn't come to that. He was glad that the court ordered Kirsten to rehab and he wouldn't have to put her in a position like that…a position he didn't want to put her in but had no choice but to do so.

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Sandy had called the kids at school to tell them Kirsten's sentence and told them that it was best if they hung out at Summer and Marissa's for most of the night while Sandy talked to Kirsten about everything.

It was now 10:00pm. Sandy hadn't said anything to Kirsten about the sentence yet. He didn't know how to bring it up. What was he supposed to say? _"Hey honey, you all packed up for rehab? I hope you have enough outfits to last you 6 weeks!"_

Kirsten got out of the shower and lied down in bed.

Sandy thought to himself, _"It's kind of odd that she didn't pack anything up yet. What time is she planning on getting up tomorrow to pack? I hope she isn't going to resist going."_

Now worried his worst thoughts were correct, he began nonchalantly with, "Hey honey, do you want me to pack you some clothes tonight?"

Kirsten sharply turned toward him and said sarcastically, "What?"

"I mean, it's a lot to do in the morning, so why don't I pack your bags tonight?"

"Sandy, I'm not going," she said defiantly.

"Kirsten! You have to! The court ordered you!"

"Sandy no doctor ever said I was an alcoholic. I don't need rehab!"

"Kirsten this is ridiculous! Yes, you're an alcoholic and yes, you need rehab!"

"And what if I decided not to go?" she said crossing her arms.

"I don't know, for one, the court could arrest you."

Kirsten just shook her head and turned over mumbling, "I'm not going."

1 hour later the lights in the Cohen bedroom were still on. Sandy was packing Kirsten's bags while Kirsten continued to tell him he could pack bags all he wanted, but she still wasn't going.

Sandy was frustrated. Even though Kirsten was an alcoholic, he never thought she'd resist a court order. Suddenly, he remembered his ultimatum. _Would he have to bluff and give Kirsten an ultimatum in order to get her to go to rehab without being arrested or worse?_

At this point, he was going to do whatever it took.

"Kirsten, you don't have to listen to me. You don't have to listen to the kids. But you do have to listen to the judge. You have to go to rehab. The court ordered you to it."

"Sandy would you stop already? I'm not going! I don't care who tells me I have to go!"

"Kirsten this is serious. If you're telling me that you're going to resist and force the court to take more drastic measures for you to get help, than let me tell you something." Sandy paused, _"Was he really going to do this?"_

Hearing this, Kirsten turned to face Sandy and said defensively, "Tell me what?"

"If you don't go tomorrow without force, then I'm taking the kids out of this environment."

"WHAT?" Kirsten screamed back at Sandy, unable to believe what he just said.

"You heard me Kirsten, I can't take it anymore. You've put me through so much. You've put your family through so much. Most importantly, you've put your kids through so much. The kids don't deserve to see you hurt yourself and your family like this. They need to have a stable environment, not one where at any second their mother will go on a drinking binge."

"So this is your answer to everything? To abandon me? Either way, I guess you're happy. I either get shipped off to rehab or shipped out of this house."

"You can have the house. I'll take the kids somewhere else," Sandy quickly answered back, wondering how much longer Kirsten would keep asking questions. He had no idea his ultimatum wouldn't scare Kirsten into going.

Sadly, Kirsten said, "If you actually do that, you're not the man I married."

"And if you actually don't go to rehab tomorrow and force me to do this, you're not the woman I married."

"Well then I guess we've finally come to an agreement that our marriage is through."

This threw Sandy for a surprise as he didn't expect to hear this out of Kirsten. He never thought the conversation would go this far as he thought threatening to take the kids into a new home would be a threat enough to make Kirsten comply with rehab. He never intended to really do that though. "Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, Sandy it is. Aren't you just thrilled? Now you can go back to that slt Rebecca!"

Sandy walked out of the room and into the kitchen. _"How was he to respond to this? He never thought he'd be in this big a mess."_

He decided to call the kids and tell them to come home now. He needed some company.

Meanwhile, Kirsten sat on the bed as emotions ran through her…shock…anger…grief…loneliness…sadness…and more than anything, guilt. She eventually got up and went into the sock drawer, where she secretly kept a hidden stash of vodka. After all, if she did decide to go to rehab, she wasn't going tonight, right?

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That night Sandy slept on the couch, which wasn't that strange because he had been doing that for the last week. The first night he slept on the couch, Kirsten told him to leave her alone, the second night, Sandy couldn't bear to be in bed with his drunken wife, and eventually, it became a pattern of Sandy and Kirsten sleeping separately.

When Sandy woke up in the morning, he headed into the bedroom to get dressed only to find Kirsten not in bed. He started to panic as nowadays Kirsten always woke up later than Sandy as she was usually hung over in the morning. _"Was Kirsten in the kitchen when I got up?"_ He frantically ran back into the kitchen only to find Kirsten not there.

While in the kitchen, it occurred to him that the suitcases he had packed for her last night were gone from the bedroom. He ran out front only to find both cars still in the driveway. He realized that this could either be very, very bad, or very, very good. Either Kirsten took off to where he had no idea or she checked herself into rehab.

Sandy got his keys and headed out the door, moving so fast that he missed seeing the letter that was on the kitchen table addressed to him.

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	8. The Surprise

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: A big thank you to **ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED**! **FOR YOU**, I have written this chapter and I did it as fast as I could**. I hope you review this chapter and let me know what you think!**

Kirsten shakily got out of the cab and watched as it pulled away. _"Am I really going to do this?"_ she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and turned around to face the future. A future with no more alcohol.

A receptionist looked up from her computer, surprised to see someone walking in at this hour of the morning. It was 3am.

"Can I help you?" she asked warmly when she looked Kirsten over. It was obvious that this wasn't an intruder, as the receptionist could tell from Kirsten's red eyes and hesitation that she was there for help.

"Hi…I'm Kirsten Cohen…and I need help…" Kirsten forced out painfully. Her voice broke when she said _"I need help"_.

"Mrs. Cohen?" the receptionist said confused, "we aren't expecting you till 8am."

"I know…I wasn't going to come at all, but I was thinking about it all night…I have to do this…but I just couldn't face the embarrassment of saying good bye to my family…watching my kids see me go to rehab," Kirsten said through tears. She was pouring her heart out to this woman she didn't even know, something the old Kirsten would have never done. Maybe this was a sign that things were going to get better.

"Well as long as you realize that your actual time in rehab doesn't start until 8am, then I can show you to your room. I suggest getting some sleep as tomorrow you'll be in meetings all day. Not boring meetings. Fun ones, trust me. You're not going to regret coming here," the receptionist said sweetly.

Kirsten nodded, still surprised that she was actually in rehab.

The receptionist handed Kirsten a phone, saying, "Here, first call your husband and let him know you're here. He'll be worried about you if he wakes up and sees you're not home."

Kirsten hesitated, but took the phone.

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Sandy quickly headed out. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to find Kirsten. He went to Julie's. No sign of Kirsten there. He went to the Newport Office, thinking maybe Kirsten would try to escape by hiding out in the office. No sign of her there. He didn't know where else to go. Kirsten had secluded herself from the Newpsies recently and wasn't the type to go to the beach. So, he headed home. If Kirsten still wasn't home, he would call the police.

Sandy arrived home to find an empty house. Seth and Ryan had left for school. Sandy frowned, thinking that the boys probably thought that Sandy had taken Kirsten to rehab before they got up and that Kirsten didn't say good bye to them. Little did they know Sandy had no idea where Kirsten was.

He walked into the kitchen to find a letter on the kitchen island, near the bagel cutter. It was as if the note was purposely placed there so that Sandy would find it.

He quickly opened it, finding that it was from Kirsten, who said that she checked herself into rehab earlier that morning – that she couldn't face saying good bye to her family. He quickly took out the rehab brochure he had in his desk drawer and dialed the number. He couldn't trust Kirsten nowadays.

To his relief, Kirsten hadn't lied. She was, in fact, in rehab. Sandy was surprised when the receptionist told him that Kirsten had called him, and then it occurred to him that he ran out that morning without looking at his phone.

"Can I talk to her?" Sandy pleaded.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cohen, but your wife's rehab time officially started. She can't talk to any outsiders for 3 days. Don't worry though, Kirsten seems like a very determined person. I'm sure she's going to be fine."

Sandy then checked his voice mail. Sure enough, Kirsten's message was on his phone. She had called him at 3:20am. "Sandy, I checked myself into rehab this morning. Last night I realized that I had to go, but I didn't want to face saying good bye to you and the boys. Tell them I love them and that I came here for them…and you. I wish you could be here with me Sandy, I miss you already."

A few tears filled into Sandy's eyes when he heard that message. Finally, Kirsten indirectly admitted she had a problem and she had said that she missed Sandy. That made him feel good.

Sandy then called Seth and left a message on his cell phone telling him the good news.

The quietness of the empty house paralleled how Sandy found himself, lonely. After over 4 weeks of watching his wife hurt herself and lash out at her family, and him arguing with her, spying on her drinking habits, and pleading with her to stop drinking, all of that had suddenly stopped. For the first time in weeks, Sandy actually had a spare minute to himself. He headed out to the garage and grabbed his surf board. He needed to do something relaxing.

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Back at rehab, Kirsten's 6 weeks at rehab had officially started. She was now 2 hours into rehab, attending her first meeting, which was an ice breaker to let new guests become acquainted with everyone.

Once the meeting broke for lunch, Kirsten headed back to her room, awkwardly sitting down on the bed. While it was a nice bed, it wasn't her bed. It wasn't the bed she shared with her husband for the last 20 years.

It occurred to her that she hadn't unpacked anything yet as she was still wearing what she had put on that morning. She remembered that Sandy had packed her suitcase and became anxious to see what he had packed her, but almost afraid to look. She felt bad for how she had been treating him and she knew that he probably put in stuff that would make her smile. Sure enough, he did.

Packed in between her clothes were "goodies". The first one was one of Sandy's favorite 8x10 paintings that Kirsten had painted back at Berkeley. It had been hanging in the Cohens' living room.

The second one was a picture of Kirsten's mother and Kirsten, after her mother got out of rehab for the same problem Kirsten was there for.

The third item was the family Chrismukkah picture that had been hanging on the fridge ever since it was taken.

And the last item, at the very bottom of the suitcase, was a picture of Sandy and Kirsten during happier times, this one taken at Cotillion a few years earlier.

A small smile fell onto Kirsten's face as she looked over each item, happy that Sandy had secretly put the items in her suitcase. Along with what he had packed, Kirsten also took a few things to make her stay at rehab as pleasant as possible. Out of her purse (which had been checked earlier), she took out the plastic ring Sandy had given her a few months ago. She may have not had her wedding set, but this would do for now. She slowly slid it onto her finger, liking the way it looked…showing that she was taken. She decided to leave it on for the remainder of her stay at rehab. It would represent her commitment to successfully completing the program.

Her thoughts were interrupted when one of the nurses came in with her new state id she would have for a year that read, "Not A Drivers License". She sighed. It hadn't been that bad at rehab yet until now, when she remembered that she wouldn't be driving for a whole year. Suddenly she felt hopeless again. A year felt so far away.

It would be so obvious that she had lost her license. It would be so embarrassing. Tears started forming in her eyes again. Along with the hopelessness and worries came cravings for alcohol. It seemed like everything Kirsten had done so far that day had gotten her mind off of alcohol, but once she was alone, it was easy for alcohol to creep back into her mind. Her hands started shaking as she longed for a drink. Trying not to panic and to calm her craving, she grabbed a cup of water and put it to her lips, trying to imagine the water was alcohol.

She came to the conclusion that rehab wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. She looked at the clock. Four and a half hours down, only 5 weeks and 6 days to go.

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	9. The Moments Missed

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Thank you to those who reviewed! Please continue to let me know what you think as I'm not writing this story for myself. Well, partially I am writing this to practice writing and perfect my writing skills, but you get what I mean. Review!

The day Kirsten went to rehab, Sandy awaited the kids arrival home from school at the kitchen table, ready to tell them that Kirsten was all situated in rehab. Sandy was disgruntled when he heard Seth storm into the house yelling loudly, "I don't care if she willingly went Ryan, the fact that she didn't bother to say good bye to us. That says everything."

Sandy immediately got up and went into the foyer, interrupting the conversation with, "Boys, please, let me explain everything."

Despite numerous attempts to get Seth to listen, Sandy, unwillingly, decided to show Seth and Ryan the letter Kirsten had left him. He wasn't planning on showing them as it was a personal letter between husband and wife and he had hoped that by his explaining that it was too much for Kirsten to handle in saying goodbye to the kids would be enough to make them understand, but apparently not, so he told the kids to sit down at the table and handed the letter over to them.

Ryan quickly read the letter and nodded his head to Sandy. Ryan could relate better to what Kirsten was going through since he saw his mother go through it, and despite all that Kirsten did to hurt the family, Ryan wasn't willing to give up on her.

Seth, on the other hand, read the letter more slowly. When he finished, he looked up at Sandy and said, "Well I'd say that you wrote this just to get me to believe you, but I know you don't know how to write like mom."

Sandy wasn't sure if Seth was joking around or not, but he thought it was a step in the right direction since Seth smirked a little. Sandy said, "Boys, your mom didn't mean to hurt you. I know it's not the same since I'm saying it, but I'm telling you the truth. She would never intentionally do anything to hurt either of you."

"Why she didn't come to us before her drinking got so out of control?" Seth asked with frustration.

"Alcoholics don't like to ask for help. They try to hide their problems," Ryan said bluntly.

"Well said," Sandy said approvingly, "and your mom didn't want you kids to see her like this. She's ashamed of what she did."

"Have you spoken to her today?" Seth asked his dad.

"No, the receptionist told me that your mom can't speak to any outsiders for 3 days."

"Really?" Seth asked surprised. He had no idea how strict rehab would be. He softened a little when he heard this.

Sandy nodded sadly.

Ryan, having been through this before, saw that Sandy and Seth were getting really down and knew that he had to change the subject, so he asked, "What do you guys want for dinner?"

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Somehow, Kirsten made it through the first night of rehab despite numerous cravings that scared her so bad that she started to cry hysterically. The next morning she was okay until after the group broke for lunch, when she was alone again. The craving came back again with more shaking, along with an additional symptom, vomiting. Scared, Kirsten called the nurse, who told her that it was common for ex-alcoholics to have side effects to initially starting detox. "It'll get better," she promised Kirsten sweetly. Kirsten only hoped it would get better really soon, because between missing alcohol and her family, she was starting to feel extremely hopeless.

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On the second day without Kirsten, the Cohen house was a mess. Everyone tried to act like it was a normal day when they knew it wasn't.

_Breakfast wasn't the same without Kirsten's morning ritual of making coffee, pouring the kids their orange juice, and chasing them out of the kitchen when she kissed Sandy hello when he came in from surfing._

_Lunch time wasn't the same for Sandy without Kirsten's usual phone call asking him if he wanted to meet her for lunch at the Crab Shack and his telling her that he's already waiting for her in their usual booth._

_Dinner wasn't the same without Kirsten claiming to have cooked when everyone knew it was takeout._

_And for Sandy, sleeping wasn't the same without Kirsten. He missed his and Kirsten's usual bedroom activity: sitting at the table and chairs by the bay window and talking about the events of the day; taking a shower, sometimes together; getting changed for bed, sometimes, that just meant unwrapping their robes; making love, which they did at least 4 times a week; kissing each other good night; Sandy holding Kirsten tightly as she made herself comfortable on him; and Sandy waking up to find Kirsten still in his arms from the night before, looking forward to kissing her good morning and watching her get ready for work._

But that had all changed. What Sandy and the boys didn't realize was that all of this hadn't just changed since Kirsten went to rehab. It had been like this for a while, it was just that nobody had noticed the gradual changes in Kirsten's behavior – or didn't want to admit that she was changing.

The Cohens were lost without Kirsten. They began to wonder if Kirsten was having an easier time in rehab then they were having at home missing her.

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Kirsten wasn't having an easier time though. Her side effects from detox were doing a number on her. Her wound from the accident was starting to hurt from vomiting so much. She was starting to find it very annoying that she couldn't take a shower yet since it'd be too hard to keep the cast on her arm dry. Yet. despite all of those physical symptoms, they were nothing compared to how she was feeling emotionally.

_Devastated – she still couldn't believe that her dad passed away. Even though she and her dad had their share of arguments, Kirsten loved her dad and looked up to him more than anyone else in Newport._

_Drained – she was tired of the daily schedule rehab already. She longed to go back to her normal routine of work, social events, and fun time with her husband and kids._

_In Denial – she still couldn't believe she was in rehab and was an alcoholic. She still couldn't say the word out loud. It just seemed too unreal for her to be in this position._

_Hopeless – she had moments when she thought she'd never be able to complete rehab and put her life back together again._

_Embarrassed – when she did feel that she would make it through, she wondered how she'd face her family, friends, co-workers, and the Newpsies after all that had happened._

_Ashamed – she was ashamed of herself and what she had done._

_Lonely – she missed her family, and even the Newpsies, more than anything. She longed for a Cohen breakfast or to help plan a social event. And, she longed for a romantic date with her husband. It'd been months since they last had some "alone time"._

_Guilty – she was starting to realize how hurtful she was to her family after spending so much time alone at rehab. She longed to go home and apologize for everything she did to hurt them._

These thoughts clouded her mind as she attended therapy on her 2nd day of rehab. Something that made things a little bit easier was that the following day, she could call Sandy.

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This had been the longest amount of time that Sandy and Kirsten hadn't spoken to one another. Anxiously awaiting Kirsten's call, Sandy, on his first day back to work, decided to work from home just in case Kirsten called the house phone. He put his cell phone onto the kitchen table. He wanted to be ready to answer when Kirsten called.

When it was 5:00pm, the nurse told Kirsten she could call Sandy. Although Kirsten had been looking forward to calling Sandy ever since she got to rehab, she suddenly got nervous and hesitated, not sure of what to say to him. With some encouragement from the nurse, Kirsten slowly picked up the phone and dialed Sandy's number.

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Sandy cell phone suddenly rang as the Cohens were deciding on what to eat for dinner, as they had a hard time deciding now that Kirsten was gone since they didn't want to order take out because it reminded them too much of normal, happy Cohen family dinners. Everyone stopped once the phone rang. Sandy quickly picked it up and walked into the family room, and he too, suddenly got nervous as he answered with "hello".

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	10. The Phone Call

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I really appreciate it! Thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. Please continue to let me know what you think, it inspires me to continue writing this fic! xoxo

"Hi," Kirsten whispered through a shaky voice. Although she'd been looking forward to calling Sandy ever since she arrived at rehab, all of a sudden she didn't feel like talking. There was so much she needed to explain to him but she didn't have the courage to do it yet.

Sandy, too, felt awkward. He didn't know if he should even say anything about rehab in fear that it was too sensitive a subject to talk about. If he did bring it up, what would he say, _"Hey Kirsten, so how is rehab going?"_ He didn't think that sounded right so instead he said, "It's nice to hear from you." It was something simple and non directive about any particular subject, and yet at the same time caring.

After a somewhat long pause, Kirsten said, "How are you and the boys? I miss you all," as she held back tears. It was painful for her to ask that when had it not been for her stupid problem, she'd know how her family was for herself.

"Okay," Sandy said as he looked over at the boys. "Seth's trying to force Ryan to help him develop a new comic idea. Ryan isn't budging, but Seth's luring him by offering to give his ticket to some concert at the Bait Shop to Marissa so that the she and Ryan can go together."

"Sounds typical of Seth," Kirsten said smiling. For a second, it almost seemed like this was just like any other telephone conversation when Kirsten would call to check up on Sandy and the boys when she was going to be home late from work. Then, she remembered it was not a typical phone conversation when she heard Sandy say that Seth was willing to give up his ticket for Marissa. To her knowledge, Ryan and Marissa were not together before she came to rehab. Inquisitively she asked, "Oh, are Ryan and Marissa back together?"

"Well, Ryan doesn't want to admit it, but Seth and I think they are."

"Oh." An awkward silence was brought on. Kirsten grimaced as she considered explaining everything to Sandy. She couldn't find the words to say it yet. Not because she didn't want to, but because it was too painful…too shameful for her to do right now. She needed more time.

Sandy sighed. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't know how to approach the subject, nor did he know if would be appropriate to bring up.

"You know, I miss you," Kirsten said nervously. She hoped that Sandy wouldn't ask her anything about rehab as she was already on the verge of tears and she knew that if he asked her anything about it, she'd start crying hysterically. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"I know, me too. How are you?" Sandy asked, hoping that was a general-enough question to ask.

"Okay, I could be better…but I know that I'm a lot better now that I'm here. I need this. I feel terrible and ashamed for everything I did. I'm sorry," Kirsten said as she started to cry. She had a feeling this phone call would bring out the worst of her emotions.

"Honey, please don't cry. I just want you to get better. That's all I've wanted all along," Sandy said sympathetically. "Are you okay? Please stop crying."

"I'm okay," Kirsten lied. The truth was that a craving was starting to come. Those always scared her. She didn't want to be talking to Sandy during one. She tried to end the conversation as quickly as she could without sounding too panicky, "I'm glad I got to talk to you."

"Likewise. "

Kirsten looked down at her hand as it started to shake and said, "I'll talk to you soon".

Sandy looked at the phone a bit surprised. The conversation had gone quite well, except for the end of the conversation, which he thought Kirsten had rushed suddenly...he had been hoping to hear an "I love you" from her. Even if she didn't say it, he wanted to say it to her. He knew that it would make her feel better.

He would have to settle for this. He decided to look at the bright side, thinking "_at least Kirsten recognizes that she needs rehab"_.

"So, how was she?" Ryan asked when Sandy retuned to the table.

"Okay, she recognized that she needs rehab, so that's a start."

"It took her long enough," Seth said sarcastically.

"She asked about you two," Sandy said ignoring Seth's sarcastic comment, hoping this would touch him a little.

"She did?" Seth asked surprised.

"Yeah, she wanted to know how you two were doing. She misses you both."

"She said she misses us?" Seth asked surprised.

"Yeah, of course she does. I could have told you that, Seth!"

"Well, I don't know, I mean it didn't seem like she missed us when she went out drinking at the bar all those nights she claimed to be working late."

"Seth, lets forget about that. Your mom made mistakes. I'm sure she realizes that now," Ryan said slightly frustrated. He was getting tired of hearing Seth complain about Kirsten. Ryan saw that Kirsten was doing way better than his mother was at this stage of overcoming alcoholism.

"Well she should have realized it a long time ago! How could a mother forget her son's comic pitch?"

Ryan couldn't take it any longer. He never spoke about his past, but this time he had to let it out. "Seth stop thinking about yourself! You should be thankful that your mom is making such good progress. You want to know what my mother was like in this stage of rehab? She told me and my brother that she'd never speak to us again for turning her in to rehab. At least your mom knows she needs help."

With that, Seth kept quiet and pondered on those thoughts.

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After dinner, Sandy wandered over to the Cohens' relatively new bar. It hadn't been touched since Kirsten last swamped through all the alcohol that was stored in it. He decided that over the next few weeks, he'd remove the bar and renovate it back to a dining room. He didn't know what Kirsten would want to do with the bar once she got home, and frankly, he didn't care if taking this initiative on his own would annoy her or not. All he knew was that it would definitely be awkward for Kirsten to see the bar when she got released from rehab. This way, there'd be less memories of what she used to do for hours a day.

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Back in rehab, Kirsten eventually got through that craving. She thought it was a good sign that the cravings now scared her, whereas just a few days ago, the cravings were almost a relief because she knew that she could reach for the bottle and drown out her problems the wrong way. At least now the cravings scared her because she knew it meant she wanted alcohol and she didn't want to want alcohol anymore.

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The rest of the week went by a lot more quickly than the earlier part of the week, as Sandy kept his time away from the office busy with disassembling the bar. He wondered when he'd hear from Kirsten again, as he was going to ask her when she'd be calling again in their conversation earlier that week but Kirsten hung up too quickly before he could say anything.

The week didn't go by quick for Kirsten at all. She dreaded everything about rehab: going to her one on one counseling sessions as she wasn't one to open up about her feelings, especially considering how ashamed of herself she was; going to the group therapy sessions as she was embarrassed to publicly state her problems; how slow time passed, as had she been home, any Friday night would have went by way too fast, as both Kirsten and Sandy always complained to each other that on their only night for "alone time", as Monday-Friday was work, Saturday was a social event, and Sunday they had to get ready for the work week, but in rehab, time went by a lot slower. Kirsten felt extremely lonely on her first Friday night in rehab.

Things got better on Saturday night. Kirsten was on her way back from eating dinner in the cafeteria when she heard someone say, "Kirsten?"

To her surprise, it was the receptionist who first comforted her when she checked herself in. "Hi," Kirsten said a bit embarrassed.

"How are you dear? Getting better?" the receptionist said sweetly.

Kirsten shrugged.

Patting Kirsten's shoulder, the receptionist said, "It takes time dear, but I have faith in you."

Kirsten just nodded. She got nervous when people told her that she'd overcome this. She always had worries that she'd never get over alcoholism and that scared her. Changing the subject, she said, "I'm sorry, what is your name? I don't remember…it was kind of a bad day when I first met you."

"That's totally understandable for that to have been a bad day for you. I guarantee you you'll only have better ones. Every day will be a better one for you. You're getting better every day. My name is Eileen Smith," Eileen said and smiled warmly, shaking Kirsten's hand, "it's such a pleasure to meet you again. You look much better already."

Kirsten tried to smile as best she could. She certainly didn't feel any better. Yeah, she was relieved to finally be in rehab to overcome alcoholism, but her pain went from hiding her alcohol problem to shame about what she had done.

"Why don't you come with me to the garden. We could chat for a while, it'll get your mind off things," Eileen said sweetly.

"Don't you have to stay at the reception desk? You know, to watch out for people like me coming through the door saying they need help," Kirsten said shamefully. She wasn't sure about the idea of talking to anyone in rehab more than she had to already in the counseling sessions.

"I'm actually done with my shift now."

"Oh, then I don't want to hold you up," Kirsten said apologetically.

"You wouldn't be, I'd love to chat with you."

Seeing Kirsten's hesitation, Eileen grabbed her arm and said, "Come on, it'll be fun. We don't have to talk about why you're here. We can talk about anything you want. Friend to friend."

Kirsten smiled a little as she remembered that she could be stuck in her room right now, fighting off a craving, but instead, this kind woman was willing to talk to her about anything but rehab. The idea suddenly sounded very appealing and Kirsten said, "You lead the way. I've never been to the garden here."

"Well there's a first time for everything, isn't there," Eileen said cheerfully.

Kirsten followed Eileen to the garden and wondered how Eileen could be such a positive person when she was constantly in an environment of people, who were not only alcoholics, but usually sarcastic, unwilling, depressed people.

Hopefully you'll enjoy the conversation that Kirsten has with Eileen. I'll give you a hint: Kirsten recalls some sweet memories in it and for the first time since being in rehab, considers where her relationship is with Sandy. Meanwhile, back at home, Sandy continues the house renovations as Ryan continues to try and open Seth's mind to the fact that Kirsten didn't mean to hurt them.

Please review! I'd really appreciate it!


	11. The Talk and Confusion

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The OC or the characters.

Author's note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it! Please continue to let me know what you think:)

Eileen led Kirsten out to the garden, which was in the middle of the rehab center. Kirsten welcomed the fresh air as she hadn't been outside since she arrived at rehab 4 days ago.

Sitting on one of the benches, Kirsten and Eileen talked about all different things…the type of flowers in the garden…hair care…fashion…hobbies. For the first time since arriving at rehab, Kirsten enjoyed herself and almost forgot that she was in rehab. After sharing a few good laughs, Eileen then asked Kirsten, "So, I see you're married?"

"Yeah, I am." Noticing Eileen staring at her ring, Kirsten explained the situation of how her ring got cut off and how Sandy gave her this one a few months ago, and how she decided to always wear this ring while she's in rehab as her commitment to it. She finished off the explanation with, "It's corny, I know."

"It's not corny. It shows your dedication to completing rehab and your love for your husband in such a trying time. Looking at that must motivate you."

"Well, yeah, it makes me want to complete rehab successfully, but he gave me the ring during a difficult time in our marriage. Yes, because its plastic it reminds me of the ring my husband used when he first proposed since that what he proposed with, so it makes me happy when I think about it in that respect, but this ring, well, the reason he gave it to me was because I wasn't wearing mine. I pretended it was lost since he was spending too many nights with a client of his who just happened to be his ex-fiancee. I think he caught on that I "lost" my ring out of jealousy, but I'm not sure. So, he gave me this till I found my real ring. And then, once I started wearing my real ring again, the accident happened and it had to be cut off," Kirsten said and shook her head at the end of the sentence, showing her frustration about her and Sandy's current relationship.

"What's the matter, dear? It sounds like your marriage is very strong," Eileen said comfortingly, seeing Kirsten was getting upset and doubting her marriage.

"It was, but not any more. I let Sandy down," Kirsten said starting to cry.

"No you didn't, I'm sure he knows that you didn't mean for this to happen."

"It's not just that though…I said some horrible things to him. I don't even know what I said half the times since I was drunk, but I know I wasn't a nice person. The worst thing was when I told him that our marriage is through."

The whole time, Eileen practically dismissed everything Kirsten said, saying that Sandy would understand everything, but when Kirsten said this, her eyes and mouth opened wide, as she said in surprise, "You did?"

"Yeah, I did. It was the night before I came here. I was really, really upset with my sentence. I was in shock. I kept refusing to go to rehab so Sandy told me that if I didn't go, he'd leave me and take the kids. I got really angry at him for threatening to take away my kids so I told him our marriage was through since we couldn't reconcile our differences." Kirsten paused, but the look on Eileen's face told her to keep talking and come up with an explanation for saying that so, she continued, "I never meant to say it, but at the time I wasn't in the right state of mind to think about what I was saying. Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" Kirsten said sadly as she looked down, ashamed of herself.

"He will," Eileen said nodding. "You've definitely made some mistakes and caused your family some hurt, but I think he probably realizes that you didn't mean it. It's great that all of these feelings are coming out only 4 days into rehab. I can only imagine how healthy you'll be after 6 weeks!"

Kirsten smiled through her teary eyes and mumbled, "Thanks," unconvincingly.

"Seriously, your marriage will be fine. It might take some time, but Sandy will forgive you. He knows you didn't mean it."

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Back at the Cohen house, Sandy kept himself busy with disassembling the bar. It was his way of relieving the pain of missing Kirsten.

He smiled to himself as he took out the glasses from the cabinet, thinking that Kirsten would be so proud of him, that he was doing the renovations himself, as the Cohens always hired a contractor for renovations. "_Or would she be happy he was renovating? Maybe she'd be angry with him that he did this without asking her? What if she went back to her old ways with the bottle when she came home? What if she really meant that their marriage was over when she hurtfully said that they were through?"_

He tried to flush those "What ifs" out of his mind and focused on removing the glasses from the cabinets.

Later that day, Sandy kept thinking about his conversation he had with Kirsten the day before. He was worried about why she cut him off so abruptly. He debated about calling her just to make sure she was okay, and quickly came to the conclusion that he was going to call.

"Hello, can I please speak to Kirsten Cohen? She started…umm…rehab on Tuesday."

"I know who she is. Actually, she's eating dinner right now. Can I give her a message?" the receptionist said sweetly.

"Yes, tell her to call me. She kind of cut our conversation short yesterday and I'm worried about her. She didn't say when she'd call again," Sandy said worriedly.

"Oh, well I'll let her know you called. Patients aren't allowed to make more than 1 phone call a week, so she won't be calling you till sometime next week."

"Is she okay?"

"She's doing fine," Eileen said as she smiled to herself.

Sandy breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had confirmation that Kirsten was okay. He headed back over to the bar and continued taking everything out of it.

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The next morning Kirsten woke up and turned over to the other side of the bed, reaching out for Sandy. When she didn't feel him, she said "Sandy?" in a panicked voice. She opened her eyes and looked around, not seeing Sandy in the room. She quickly got out of bed and started yelling, "Sandy, where are you?" in a frantic voice. Not finding him in the room, she opened the door and went out into the hallway, continuing to shout his name.

The nurse came running over to Kirsten, calmly telling her that she was in rehab and that Sandy was home.

"No, I'm not in rehab, I'm in the hallway to our bedroom. Where is my husband?"

"Kirsten, you're in rehab. Your husband is home," the nurse kept saying as she put her arms on Kirsten, trying to calm her down.

Kirsten, now crying hysterically, said, "Where is he? Sandy! Where are you?" as she tried to push past the nurse.

"Kirsten, calm down, you're just experiencing withdrawal."

"All I know is that I can't find my husband and you won't tell me where he is!"

"Kirsten! It's Eileen. Remember me?" Eileen said calmly.

Kirsten stopped struggling to get past the nurse and stared at Eileen in confusion and surprise. "Maybe."

"Remember we had our talk last night? Out in the garden."

Kirsten nodded and continued to sob and said, "What happened? I'm so confused!"

"I'll handle it from here," Eileen told the nurse. Then to Kirsten, she said, "Honey, you're experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Your body isn't used to not having alcohol in it yet, it'll take a while to adjust. Confusion is one of the symptoms."

"Really?" Kirsten said as she started to come down.

"Yeah. That will go away in a few weeks."

"It scared me."

"I know, just relax. I'm here for you," Eileen said sweetly as she pulled Kirsten in for a hug. Kirsten accepted the hug gratefully and rested her head on Eileen's shoulder. Eileen patted her back, saying, "Its okay sweetie."

When they broke apart from the hug, Eileen told Kirsten, who was still in her pajamas, to go get dressed and she'd take her into the cafeteria for breakfast. Kirsten agreed. She walked back into the room and started to cry again. After her scare of not finding Sandy in bed with her, it made her realize how much she missed him. She wished she was home with Sandy and her family. She sighed, it was going to be a long day.


	12. The Emotions

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The OC or its characters.

Author's note: Thank you to all who reviewed! I appreciate each and every one of them! Please continue to let me know what you think!

After Kirsten's relapse, it was like she was starting rehab all over again. _Thoughts about her sentence creeping into her mind, thoughts about how she was going to be able to handle rehab for another 5 weeks, wondering how was she going to handle life after rehab facing all of Newport as an ex-alcoholic, who had been gone for 6 weeks in rehab as part of a court-ordered sentence. More importantly, how was she going to face her family? Seth had been really annoyed with her and she was sure that he still was. Ryan seemed to understand but she felt horrible for making him go through this process again, just as he did with Dawn. She let her whole family down, especially Sandy, who would do anything for her to make her get through any problem she faced. But she turned to alcohol anyway. Now she had to mend the mess she had created. What would life be like after rehab? Would everything go back to normal or would things never be the same?_

Eileen helped Kirsten get through the next few days as she faced these doubts. Everyday after her scheduled shift Eileen would meet Kirsten in the garden and listen to her pour her heart out. She let Kirsten cry on her shoulder when Kirsten talked or thought about the most hurtful subjects for her to deal with…her problem of alcohol, the guilt and shame she was feeling, and facing her family after what she put them through. Eileen knew that rehab was helping Kirsten since she was finally about to start talking about her problems and let her emotions out freely.

It was now Thursday, a week since Kirsten's last phone call home. It was time for her second call home. Because of the agenda of counseling sessions that day, the nurse told Kirsten to call home in the afternoon, at 3:30pm. Nervously, Kirsten picked up the phone and dialed Sandy's cell phone. She assumed he had gone back to work, as he had taken off so many weeks because of her, he probably wanted to get back to work as soon as she left for rehab. That was another thing Kirsten felt guilty about, keeping Sandy away from his passion, helping people. She didn't want to hold him back from fulfilling his dreams, but she knew that her alcoholism did put a dent in his career, and business, as various clients dropped Sandy from their case after his non showing up to scheduled meetings.

The phone went right to voice mail. Kirsten was surprised, even after all the hurt she caused Sandy, she thought he would have definitely remembered that today was her day to call him, not even realizing that she did not tell him when she'd call this week. She sighed, again worrying about what their marriage would be like after rehab. She pondered who in her family to call next. She chose Seth, knowing that Ryan understood Kirsten's situation better than Seth. Even more nervous than she was when dialing Sandy, she dialed Seth's cell phone, hoping he would answer.

"Hello?" Summer said confused when she didn't recognize the phone number.

"Summer?" Kirsten said just as confused as Summer.

"Mrs. Cohen? Hi! How are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you doing?" Kirsten said embarrassedly.

"Good. I miss you though."

"I miss you too. Where's Seth?"

"Oh, right, sorry, I forgot I answered his phone. We're in the club, Seth is trying on tuxes for cotillion."

"Oh right, cotillion," Kirsten said sadly. Since arriving at rehab, she tried to forget about the happy times she'd be missing, cotillion included.

Summer sensed the sadness in Kirsten's voice and ran over to the boys' dressing room and knocked on the door, whispering, "Seth, you have a phone call! Here!" she said sliding the phone underneath the door.

"Who is it?" Seth asked.

"Oh, its, umm, well it's a surprise. Hurry up and answer it!"

"Hello?"

"Hi Seth," Kirsten said tentatively.

"Mom?" Seth said surprised.

"Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm good. Trying on a tux at the moment. How are you?"

Kirsten breathed a small sigh of relief that Seth was actually talking to her. He still seemed upset with her, but not angry. "Okay…I miss you baby."

Bluntly, Seth said, "Are you getting better?"

Summer kicked Seth underneath the door.

"Oww, Summer!"

Kirsten paused, unsure of what to say. She felt like hanging up the phone right then in there. She didn't know if she could do this, talk to Seth about how she was doing in rehab. She wasn't even sure she could talk to Sandy about this yet, let alone her kids.

"Mom?" Seth said after not hearing her respond.

"I'm here sweetie. I was just giving you a minute…you seem like you're busy right now."

"Oh no, Summer just kicked me so I was kicking her back." Summer kicked him again, thinking that sometimes Seth really was clueless about how to relate to women. "Trust me, an interruption like a phone call is good right now, because it stops me from trying on tuxes."

Kirsten let out a small laugh, saying, "I know how much you love trying on tuxes."

"You know me well. So how are you doing in rehab? You never answered my question." Seth got kicked yet a third time from Summer, as she whispered, "Seth, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it!"

"Oh, right, I'm doing okay. But I miss you and Ryan and your dad so much. I even miss the Newpsies. I can't wait to come home."

"Can't wait to have you back," Seth almost automatically responded back. After saying it, he realized what he said. He knew he had been pretty cold to his mother ever since he found out she was an alcoholic, but suddenly, he realized that he missed her a lot and wanted her to know that. He felt awkward and embarrassed for how he had been treating her the past few weeks but didn't know what to say.

"That means a lot to me Seth. I want you to know that every day I think about you and how you're doing. I can't wait to make you breakfast again in the morning," Kirsten said smiling.

"I look forward to you making me and Ryan toast in the morning. It's the only thing you know how to make, well, really good."

"Thanks Seth," Kirsten said sarcastically. The nurse came into her room and told her to wrap the conversation up as it was time for group activities. "Well, I've got to go now. It's time for group activities."

"Alright mom, take care of yourself. Ryan and I miss you a lot, and I know that dad misses you even more. He's like a lost puppy without you."

"Really?" Kirsten said with surprise and sadness in her voice.

"Yeah, but don't worry, he's okay, we're taking care of him. But yeah, he misses you. We all can't wait till you come home."

"Thanks Seth, that means a lot to me," Kirsten said again. "Good luck at cotillion. I love you."

"Love you too."

Kirsten smiled, happy that the conversation went so well and relieved that she didn't get a craving throughout the entire conversation. She thought she would have gotten one as hearing her family on the phone made her miss them more and lead her to crave alcohol, but not today, she was holding her own. She breathed a sigh of relief.

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"Why didn't you call me as soon as your mother called, Seth?" Sandy said with frustration, as he had been in court when Seth got the call.

"Because I knew that if I did, you would come right home, call rehab, find out what happened because you wouldn't trust me, blah, blah blah. Dad its fine, I handled my own," Seth said gloating.

"You weren't rude to her, were you?" Sandy said still annoyed.

"No, I wasn't. I told her that we miss her a lot. I told her that you really miss her."

"Seth," Sandy said playfully hitting Seth on the arm.

"What is this, like Hit Seth Day! That's four times in one day!"

"What did she say? Is she doing okay?"

"She didn't talk much about rehab, but she seemed to be doing okay. A lot better than she was before she went."

"Good," Sandy said nodding, still wishing he had spoken to her. "Did she say anything about when she's going to call again?" Sandy asked, wondering if she finally addressed the issue he had to find out from the receptionist.

"She didn't say. She seemed sad about not going to cotillion though. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Yeah, well, we don't know how she's going to take everything we say when we talk about home stuff. She probably just wishes she was home as opposed to there," Sandy said trying to comfort Seth.

"That's what she said."

"I'm glad she's doing better," Ryan jumped in. "Maybe if I'm home when she calls next time I could talk to her for a minute?"

"Sure Ryan," Sandy said nodding, "that'd be good for her."

"Good. So, should we head down to the Crab Shack for some dinner?" Ryan asked, trying to end the awkward situation. He knew Seth and Sandy were shaken up after the phone call. He was too, but he was more relieved that Kirsten was doing well and sticking with the program.

Everyone agreed and they headed out.

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That night, Kirsten couldn't get the thoughts about cotillion out of her mind. It never occurred to her until Seth brought it up. _She wouldn't be going to cotillion. The first one she'd be missing since the cotillions she'd missed when she rebelled against her parents right after her debut into society as lead debut and until the Cohens moved to Newport. But this was different, she was missing this cotillion while her family was going. Without her. Like she wasn't needed for life to go on._

She started getting really upset and lonely. Thinking back to her conversation with Seth, she tried to remember if he had sounded really sincere in saying that everyone missed Kirsten. _Did they? Or would it just be better if after rehab, Kirsten and Sandy went their separate ways. Oh no, she didn't even want to think about that. She didn't mean what she had said to Sandy that night before rehab started, but what if he took it that way? What if he already bought a new house for him and the kids to live in without her? What if she was too much of a burden on their family? What if her mistakes had cost her the life she loved?_

As she pondered these thoughts, she started getting a severe headache. She buzzed the nurse, hoping to get something to take for the pain. Kirsten didn't want to get a craving because of how she was feeling, so maybe the nurse would distract her while giving her some medicine.

_How much longer to go in rehab? Or better yet, how much longer till I feel better?_ Kirsten thought. A little less than 5 weeks to go.


End file.
